By Greg Liotta
I sent a note to someone recently asking for an opportunity to make amends. They chose to disregard my outreach, either to honor their boundaries or maybe to give me the middle finger while they walk around showing people my note saying, "See, I was right, he admits he was wrong."
The old habit was to collude with these people, identifying with their projected judgments, digging myself into a hole called "I'm not worthy because I did something bad."
There are always people walking around who cannot separate you from a picture they worship in their mind of you at your worst moment. There are people who feed off of that image and the resentments rising up from them like a rotting fish. When you collude with them you start to stink like that too even if you don't realize it.
For everyone, I think, there are people who cannot see your majesty because their minds have not expanded enough to allow you to grow beyond the borders of their own mental prison.
There are people who cannot acknowledge your value because they can't see past the illusion of their own empty cup. It took me a long time to realize that everything improves when you stop begging for crumbs from people whose ribs stick out.
Even after I realized it I still had to notice how I showed up like a hungry beggar even when the whole world could see this person is starving and has nothing I want. A King doesn't show up with his hand out and then walks away dejected when the beggar can't recognize the gift he is.
One great king once said, "Do not throw your pearls before swine" but sometimes a prince is so accustomed to laying around in mud he thinks it's necessary.
Osho agreed, "Your whole idea about yourself is borrowed - borrowed from those who have no idea of who they are themselves."
Everything improves when you stop begging for crumbs from people whose ribs stick out. You can't fix their hunger by joining them in fasting while there's a giant feast right before your eyes.
Greg Liotta, MSW is an artist, coach, and transpersonal counselor who was born and raised in NYC. At an early age Greg began using art as a means of transforming childhood trauma, incorporating several mediums - from pastels to acrylics to digital, - from spoken word to fashion to writing- as he expanded his palette. Always seeking to explore the edges of the unconventional, Greg brought a creative brush to his work with inner-city youth, professional men as well as addicts in recovery. He became a Certified Co-Leader with the Mankind Project in 1997, and for +20 years has been leading transformational retreats and groups. Greg was featured in Recovery View Magazine in 2017 with the article, "Digital Art as a Tool for Recovery" as he shifted to digital art as a pathway to recovery from trauma. He seeks to use vibrant color to evoke a "visual reiki" effect, encouraging viewers to breathe the colors in as they gaze upon his work.
Greg currently lives with the love of his life, Jon Snow, 4-year-old Boxer-mix where he continues to integrate a broad palette in his quest to create freedom in his life and those he touches.
Greg can be reached at email@example.com / 512-867-5470