By Heidi Dean
As we walked into Deep Waters Recovery to record our podcast with The Recovery Crew, I was apprehensive, we all were. We almost backed out a number of times. Having to expose our lives, our past, to strangers was terrifying. But what we found from having this experience was the exact opposite.
We knew that we weren’t aware of Jared’s entire story, we have been learning more as the months have gone on, but we still don’t know the extent of his addiction. There hasn’t been a “perfect’ time for all of us to talk about it. There may not ever be that “perfect” time. And truthfully, do we want to know? Will it break our hearts even more? Or will this help all of us heal? To hear what he lived, day in and day out was excruciating. We knew that the past five+ years was miserable and almost tore our family apart. This was the addiction, the devil that was working its black magic. To even fathom that we came out on top is a miracle.
Matt and I had the hardest time before the recording. We knew there were heavy hearts and there was going to be many tears. We haven’t talked about our feelings openly as often as Jared. Our feelings were raw and exposed. We had been through hell. I said in our opening that these dark days almost tore our family apart. The four of us had always been such a strong family unit; one that laughs together and shares amazing experiences. Little did we know, this podcast was going to be one of them.
After Jared told his story, it was our turn. As we relayed our version of those years, we could feel a little bit of light come back into our hearts and a shine in our eyes. This shine wasn’t tears anymore; it was hope. The tightness in our chest lifted and we knew that our family was going to be okay. We were on the other side of that huge mountain.
What we didn’t know about telling our story was that this was going to be one of the most healing experiences in our lives. We have grown immensely from this. And we are so thankful that we were allowed this opportunity. We don’t live in hell anymore. The clouds have lifted and there is sun on our faces. We got through this, it was long and ugly, but recovery is possible ~ for anyone. You just have to believe. Stay strong and seek help. You cannot do this alone.
Thank you to Grace, Andre, Dr. Bob, Brad, and the entire crew that made this magnificent experience a true life recovery. You are amazing!!!
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